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NEXT ISSUE: Obsessive compulsive behavior and perfectionism

Body Language...
Have you ever wondered...?

When you experience sudden anxiety, your blood pressure increases. This causes the soft tissue, including that on the nose to swell. Your skin tingles, and you are frequently unconsciously compelled to touch or scratch your nose. This is sometimes referred to "The Pinocchio Effect" which may indicate lying. However, the person may be touching their nose as a pacifying behavior to comfort themselves.

Signs of Lies:

Higher pitch: the person's voice will suddenly rise in pitch as the lie is told.

Lier's Lift: Frequently, someone who is lying will finish the sentence with a tag question coupled with a higher-pitched intonation at the end of the sentence.

Non-word, Throat clearing: Listen for those uhs, ums, or throat clearings. When we experience great anxiety, our vocal cords thin out an stretch, which in turn makes our voice higher.

Shorter Responses: She wants to get into the lie and get out.

More Speech Errors: He may change tenses, speak in the third person, or repeat stock phrases.

More Inclusiveness: She uses words such as always, everyone, no one.

Distancing Language: Liars want to keep the accusation as far away as possible.

Hard Swallows: Swallowing is an involuntary act. However, when we become stressed, emotionally anxious, or embarrassed, our throat muscles tighten, causing us to swallow harder or gulp.

Right Ear...Left Ear.

Focus on talking in someone's right or left ear. Switch back and forth with your significant other and notice the difference. Ear alignment is significant. The right ear, which connects to the left brain, is typically dominant in verbal processing.

Studies find that compliance goes up when you make a request speaking toward or into that person's right ear. The left ear, connected to the right brain, prevails in emotion processing, and would therefore be better at picking up the subtle nuances of pitch, timbre. melody and volume. so...practice requests in the right ear and whispers of sentiment to the left. If you are looking for a response that does not require feelings, the right ear is the way to go.

If you are trying to ignite some emotion, speak softly into that left ear.

Studies at Princeton University have shown that our initial judgements of another person are formed within one-tenth of one second! According to Princeton psychologist Alex Todorow, we decide how likeable and competent someone is before we so much as exchange a single word.

Excerpted from
Tonya Reiman's new book
The Yes Factor: Get What You Want. Say What You Mean. The Secrets of Persuasive Communication

Newsletter - June 2010


Pat JonesHello everyone!

Just back from my hour power walk in the park on such a beautiful day. Yes, the latest research on women above age 40 is that they need an hour of vigorous exercise a day! This information is from a book by Miriam E. Nelson, PhD called The Strong Women's Guide to Total Health. The newest data on this indicates that brisk walking definitely does lower the risk of stroke and the dreaded middle age weight gain. Dr. Nelson is one of the country's leading researchers on exercise for women. So...what are you doing?

Managing stress and anxiety.

I have most recently seen a number of patients plagued with anxiety. I thought some discussion on this topic would be helpful to all.

There are many reasons in this day and time that people seem to be increasingly overwhelmed with worry and anxiety... along with this depression. Certainly stress related to the pressures of the economy being down, terrorism and personal pressures (especially the cumulative effect of many events) can lead to anxiety. This is known in the field of psychiatry as "Generalized Anxiety Disorder".

Anxious womanThe symptoms are many: hyper-vigilance (a constant edgy and watchful feeling), nervousness, shakiness, difficulty sleeping or relaxing, dizziness, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, worry and negative focusing. It becomes difficult to concentrate and focus. Headaches and GI (irritable bowel) can occur. These symptoms can greatly interfere with daily functioning to the point of having to go to the emergency room.

Symptoms can initially be managed with medications....primarily Benzodiazepines. These are drugs like Xanex and Ativan. Care needs to be taken in taking these drugs for long periods of time due to dependence in some people. Others, however, do very well maintaining themselves with these medications for long periods of time. Another medication used is a beta blocker like Inderal.

How to manage stress and anxiety.

Psychotherapy using cognitive behavioral therapy along with insight oriented therapy and supportive therapy works very well. Another excellent mode is hypnotherapy. Teaching relaxation/stress management techniques as well as beginning a regular exercise program helps manage and reduce the symptoms. Initially combining these therapies with medication in many situations is definitely needed. Hypnosis can be used to defuse the symptoms and reframe the response to certain situations that provoke anxiety. Getting overwhelmed with our thoughts and catastrophizing needs to be addressed with certain people.

I was listening to a CD series by Dr. Gerald Epstein called Emotional Mastery. He refers to these thoughts as "emotional terrorists". This is most appropriate given the difficulty caused by these thoughts. Remember we think 40,000 thoughts a day and under stress can think 60,000. Most of these thoughts are repetitive addictive negative inner critic thoughts. Learning to effectively deal with them is the key to stress management and anxiety reduction.

Overall, in my experience given the right tools and concerted effort, most people are able to deal effectively with this problem.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety - twisted ropeAlong with depression, this most ubiquitous of negative emotional states is generated from within--as opposed to fear, which is a response to something happening outside of us. The literal meaning of anxiety is a "twisted rope"! Anxiety is always produced in relation to time--that is, in regard to concerns about the future. We cannot actually know the future; it is only potential, not something that actually exists. However, we tend to treat the future as an actual thing, susceptible to being manipulated, controlled, or modified. This unfortunate self deception, from which most of us suffer, prompts the fretting and discomfort that characterize anxiety.

Anxiety Imaging Exercises.

Storm in desertDesert Storm
Close your eyes and breathe out three times. See yourself entering a desert carrying a backpack. As you walk, you notice darkness, looming ahead of you. You know this means a sandstorm of anxiety is coming toward you. As it approaches, see yourself removing a folded tent from your back pack. Unfold it and set it up, driving the four pegs into place, raising the tent, then going in through the flap and closing it behind you. Sit peacefully in your tent as you hear the sand blowing around and over the tent. Know that when you hear the sandstorm pass completely, your anxiety has passed. Then open your eyes.

Blue Light
Close your eyes, breathe in and out three times, and see yourself entering a beautiful meadow. See yourself taking in the blue-golden light, a mixture of bright golden sun and cloudless blue sky, and breathing out the carbon dioxide as gray smoke, which you watch drift away and disappear. Let everywhere in your being, helping you to become calm and quiet. Let the blue light circulate though your fingertips and beyond, to encircle your body in a sapphire blue glow. See the inner and outer blue light linking. Know that your body is a bridge allowing this linking. When you see the blue light link, know that your anxiety has passed. Open your eyes.

Calm Water
Close your eyes. Breathe in and out three times. See and sense your entire being becoming like the surface of calm water reflecting the starry sky. When you have fully sensed this, know that your anxiety has gone, and open your eyes.

Excerpted from:
Healing Visualizations: Healing Visualizations: Creating Health Through Imagery  by Gerald Epstein, M.D.

Imagery Credits:
Rope Knot: Leo Reynolds
Sand storm on the Sands of Forvie: Martyn Gorman

NEXT ISSUE: Obsessive compulsive behavior and perfectionism