Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and to invoke our own submerged inner resources. The trials we endure can and should introduce us to our strengths.
People differ in their response to external demands. Some seem to thrive on having a great deal to do; others feels overwhelmed.
Reducing demands is not always easy or possible. Some demands are self-imposed and so much a part of our way of life that we find it difficult to give them up, almost like we were addicted to them. Here are some ways to manage.
Establish Priorities.
Decide what things are more important than others. Women in the work force have a particular problem with this. Those who manage the situation the best are those who do not try to be the complete career women and the complete businesswoman and the complete housekeeper and the complete mother at the same time.
Eliminate Some Activities.
In any circumstance, ask if you must do everything you are trying to do or if you might not easily eliminate some of these activities. Many times, we feel that we must do everything, when this is a waste of our energy.
Break Activities into Smaller, Less Complex Parts
. This way, we can get an idea of how much energy we need to invest in each activity.
Refuse Unreasonable Demands.
Frequently, people spend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to be what someone else wants them to be rather than being themselves. This can lead to stress, most certainly.
Reduce Self-Imposed Demands.
We often impose such strong demands on ourselves that we experience excessive stress. Perfectionism is part of this. Another self-imposed demand is trying to please everyone. A person who resolves never to disappoint anyone, never to be different from what others wish them to be, and never to get anyone angry is in for a very difficult time. Not everyone you know will like you. You will not win everyone's approval. The attempt to please everyone increases stress. Another self-imposed demand comes from the tendency to be someone other than who you really are. BE YOURSELF!
Changing Demands into Preference
Here are five ways to put problems into perspective:
Remember that whatever you're dealing with today is a lot like other challenges that you've handled well in your life and challenges that you've learned something from. You'll either solve it, work hard and overcome it, move around it, endure it until it goes away, learn to manage it, learn to accept it, or realize that it just isn't a real problem. Many times, people get tunnel-vision when it comes to looking at specific problems. You have found ways of coping before, and you'll find ways again. This is an important statement to remember. The "new problem" isn't exactly as new as you seem to think it is. It may look like a dragon, but it's same old bull.
An important question to ask yourself here is how many times a negative event is likely to occur in a lifetime. If you were driving your car for 20 years and just had a $500 stereo stolen from your car, that means $25 a year in auto theft losses. Actually, you wish it hadn't happened, but is $25 a year worth getting ill over or having a heart attack?
Remind yourself that whatever you lost will probably be available again.
Ask yourself: "Will this issue still bother me a week from now?" Often we upset ourselves about matters that seem rather insignificant as the time passes.
Try to find your own core values, based on your religious beliefs or your personal philosophy of life. Stand your problem up alongside these core values and see which means more to you. One individual put minor irritants into perspective and reminded himself, "AII I need is my health and my family. Everything else is easy."
