Stress Management
About Stress
Types of Stress
Managing Stress
Everything can be taken from a man but ...the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
Viktor E. Frankl
About Stress
- Change
- Demands
- Self-Talk
- Thinking
- Type A Behavior
- Unfinished Business
- Unspoken Rules
- Health and Your Work
Types of Stress
Managing Stress
Everything can be taken from a man but ...the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
Viktor E. Frankl
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Pathways The Light Within III: Guided Pathways to the Soul By Pat Jones & Steve Hulse View Details and Listen to Sample >>
Call for appointment: 770 442 9100
Office & Contact info >>
List of services >>
Qualifications >>
In Our Store
Pathways The Light Within III: Guided Pathways to the Soul By Pat Jones & Steve Hulse View Details and Listen to Sample >>
Reduce Stress Caused by Unspoken Rules by:
- Becoming aware of them
- Looking at the thinking that accompanies your rules
- Talking it over with others
- Challenging the rules
- Revisiting your rules
Reduce Stress by Recognizing Unspoken Rules
Experts in human behavior such as Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck have written extensively about unspoken rules in our lives. Here are some common unspoken rules for ourselves:
- I must never make a mistake.
- I must never fail.
- I must never look foolish.
- I must work very hard at all times.
- I must never get angry.
- I must always play it safe.
- People should never disappointment me.
- People should do what I ask.
- People should be reasonable toward me.
- People should not ask me to do what I don't want to do.
Reduce Stress Caused by Unspoken Rules
To reduce the stress caused by these unspoken rules, do the following:
- Become aware of them. Examine each stressful situation you experience, particular those involving unpleasant emotions like anger, anxiety, guilt, or depression, and get at the unspoken rules behind your reactions. Look for the "must's" and the "should's." Repeatedly ask yourself, "Why do I feel as I do in this situation?" or "What demands am I making on myself?" or "What demands am I making on others?"
- Look at the thinking that accompanies your rules. Help yourself gain perspective by noting the "all or nothing" thinking and the exaggeration that accompanies unspoken rules.
- Talk it over with others. Share your rules with them and get their reactions.
- Challenge the rules. Ask yourself: "Why must I think this way?" or "Who says that I must live up to this rule?" or "Why must I demand this of myself?" or "Why should other people do as I wish?"
- Revise your rules. Substitute a more reasonable, less harsh rule for the one you are now following. For example, suppose your rule is: "I must always do my best." Behind that rule is usually the other one: "It would be terrible not to do my best." Make a more reasonable rule, such as, "I prefer to do my best and feel better when I do my best, but it is okay to be human. It isn't terrible when I fall short of my goal."